Good Clean Fun: So simple even a child can use it. Now you too can enjoy channel-six entertainment every night in stunning 32-bit technicolor.
Things I have learned on the Internet
I can see where the luddites were coming from sometimes, if I'd known how retarded the internet would become I probably would've thrown my computer out of the window. I sometimes despair about where the internet is heading, something which began as an awesome way to easily share a crapload of informative content has now become the best way for billions of people to check out what their favourite celeb has left in the toilet bowl via twitter.
I mean really, is this the best we can do?
Probably. You are checking out channel-six so we're off to a bad start.
I've been thinking about my own browsing habits and how I use the internet lately and I thought I'd share some random thoughts I've had. I would also like to mention I have figured these out through personal experience more than anything, so I'm sure as hell not holier-than-thou.
1. Think of the internet like your local library. - Frequently the most popular websites are often like the women's weekly that sit near reception, brain-dead, vapid and offering little, if any substance. The good sites are like the old tomes down the back in the dark corner, they may not look the best but they're full of cool information you won't find anywhere else.
Of course if I insist on using this metaphor then it should be mentioned that all local libraries would have a pornography sections that would easily outstrip the fiction and non-fiction sections put together.
2. Never, NEVER ask for advice related to anything you have a significant emational investment in on an online forum. - You may be expecting a heart-felt, earnest reply. What you are going to get is shit. You have friends in real life, right? Talk to to them! If you don't have friends call a help-line! Talk to people who are qualified to deal with what you are dealing with.
If it is true that misery loves company, then dysfunction is the biggest fucking frat-party known to the universe. Are you having problems with your significant other? Then taking advice online from a person you've never met called Terry* is probably a bad idea.
*Terry is an ex-con, has been through four marriages and is a big fan of putting people down holes and getting them to rub lotion on themselves.
3. Pommer's Law - A person's mind can be changed by reading information on the internet. The nature of this change will be: From having no opinion to having a wrong opinion. Want to see this in action? Visit the trademe forums. Pommer's Law is a commentary on the amount of shit out there and the number of people who will believe it at the drop of a hat. If the world was a better place, the majority of people would go out and search for relevant information from a variety of sources. Instead, without any conscious thought whatsoever they hit the search box on Wikipedia and become...
4. Wikidemics - Someone whose seemingly-omniscient, categorical knowledge of any and every subject is derived solely from superficial wanderings through Wikipedia. Don't get me wrong, Wikipedia is like smack to someone like myself looking to fill in holes of information on things I am interested in. Thing is, you should really treat it like a band-aid and your knowledge like a wound. If your knowledge is scratched, band-aid it. If it's a giant gaping gash to the cartoid artery then that shit is going to bleed out no matter how many stickies you throw on it. Use sites like Wikipedia to supplement your knowledge, don't make it the base.
5. The internet is the anti-christ - No. It's not. It would be kinda nifty if the internet did go all skyNET on us and Google renounced it's 'don't be evil' mantra by creating a bunch of cyborgs to wipe us out though. James Cameron could safely sit underwater in his submarine stronghold that he's been secretly building saying "HAH! I TOLD YOU SO! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLDMUWHAHAHAHAHA!... they can swim? THEY CAN SWIM!?! NOOOOOOOooooooo!"
6. You are awesome - no really, you are. Don't let any keyboard jockey tell you otherwise. You are not awesome if you think having a keyboard gives you license to act like a drooling mongtard and pass judgment on everyone who has a slightly different point of veiw to yourself.
Damn, I feel like such a hypocrite. At this point I'd like to thank the internet and the sites mentioned above for the inspiration it has provided me with while drafting this article.
